i'm 26 now

we were kind of busy moving piper jane (aka thunder stealer) to blythedale, so we didn't have a lot of time to do much. we wound up watching breakfast at tiffany's in the late afternoon and eating veggie burgers. we'll do the real celebrating tomorrow. if it doesn't snow too much.

i wanted jake to take some pictures of me while i'm still young. it was really a beautiful day yesterday, so we had fun and didn't miss our coats too much for the 10 minute outing.
~i'm going to have a 3 year old
~i have lived in ny for 5 years
~i still prefer to splurge with sugary over salty
~weezer is still my favorite band
~the cardigans are my second favorite band
~i really want to go to japan
~alice's adventures in wonderland is my favorite book
~i am really regretting those years of no sunscreen and tanning bed sessions
~i am running the new york marathon this year
~jake and i met 5 years ago this week (right after my 21st)
~we are still smitten in my opinion
~for the first time in my entire life, i'm a coke drinker (ending now)
~i have 6 nieces and 2 nephews
~my favorite food is sandwiches
~i'm glad i never got a guinea pig last year when it seemed like the best idea ever
~i have no idea what i want to do with my life (so i'm going to do nothing, hehe)
Labels: birthdays
safe and sound

piper jane is in her old bed. with her old roommates and her old nurses. exhale...
january was crazy. it was eventful, the bad kind. we are all exhausted (see pic). but all i can think of is how lucky we are. i held piper jane on monday for the first time in three weeks. i fought the tears, but couldn't for very long because she knew who i was. it's always a worry when she gets so sick, we never know what kind of permanent damage there could be. we are so thankful that her little body has healed so remarkably despite the countless setbacks she has faced.
on wednesday morning i walked in and she smiled at me. the goofy, crooked smile that i missed so much. on thursday i clapped her hands together and she kept clapping after i was done and laughed at herself. how does she remember clapping after being asleep for two weeks and sedated for a month? how does she remember us? i'm amazed.
pippy has her days and nights mixed up. she took a one hour nap last night but otherwise played until the sun came up. i was with her for four hours today and she slept the whole time. she has no idea i was even there, ha. i took advantage by snuggling and rocking her, and then clipping her witch finger nails, finally.
sorry to be so sappy. i just wanted to let you all know that she is safe and sound in blythedale's green unit. where she belongs.
Labels: Blythedale, piper jane
Getting better all the time
Wow, what a blessing it is that pip has nearly fully recovered. There is always concern of permanent organ damage when she gets so sick and has these episodes. I can't stop thinking about all we have to be thankful for right now.
Piper Jane is still not quite herself, she seems to be a little anxious and extra wiggley on and off. Otherwise, she is almost there. When I arrived this morning, she smiled nonstop for about 5 minutes. I missed that smile so much. I haven't seen it in 3 weeks! I also haven't held her in 3 weeks, so we snuggled like we never snuggled before. I put the mother in smother.
Things are going to be ok. Things are going to be great again. I'm going to remember better than ever that even though pippy is doing so well, she is still very fragile. I'm going feel fulfilled with our visits and love her more than ever. I promise, no more complaining that's she's not home. Also, word has it that she gets to return to the green unit :)
a blistering cold day
then these piptures are just some old ones i came across from june 2008. i can't believe how little she is! this was just after her 1st birthday! she couldn't even sit up by herself yet and she is wearing a newborn romper. so nuts. also, those are katie-kate's fat feet in the background. this was their first cousin meeting.
she really was like a little baby in my arms. now she is so big! even though it takes much longer than the average kid, it still seems to fly by. wow....that's what i say to all that piper, jake and i have been through together.
thanks again to all our amazing friends. i cant believe how you've/they've jumped to the rescue. even though we haven't taken up on most of the offers, the love is really felt. our buds have offered to bring meals, clean our home, do our laundry, visit us, move our car, pick up dry cleaning...i am shocked at what you all think of.and also, i should mention the many, many emails, texts, phone calls, prayers, facebook messages, blog comments, etc. they really have helped. thanks guys. we love you!
Labels: amazing stuff, cousins, memories, piper jane
ipanema-jardim botanico
if you remember that far back, we weren't happy to leave buzios. we loved it there so much and were missing piper like crazy, so we weren't looking forward to returning to rio for the last 3 days. it worked out perfectly that we ended our vacation in ipanema, because it's much less touristy and more low key, which was what we needed. i mean, compared to copa...the food is better, the service is better, the beaches are less poluted (but equally crowded) and the area is just more catered to the locals.
the day was hot as sin. we looked at a map and realized we were less than a mile from this big reservoir in rio. known as the central park of rio. it is 5 miles around, so we rented bikes, made a few loops and got some sucos de maracuja, or maybe it was guarana. here i am cooling off in the misters. i loved these signs. the trash all weepy for not being thrown in the proper receptacle.
after that park (if i hadn't procrastinated so long, i might have remembered the name) we walked to the botanical gardens. the gardens were pretty empty, maybe because of the scorching temps, but otherwise i can't begin to guess why everyone in rio doesn't go every day. the gardens are unbelievable. completely. everything was so gigantic. sometimes i had to touch stuff to make sure it was real. i felt like a tiny garden fairy flickering about.


be glad that you can't see my face in this one. because i'm looking at a big, fat, scaley and crusty lizard. it was huge. we ran down to get a closer look and he waddled off into some bushes.

i have no idea what these pillar things are, but there were tons of them. in fact, the picture of jardim botanico that i saw in my Wallpaper travel book had these and that was what sold us on wanting to check it out. they had aged in such a cool way. i love these pictures so much. if i were an artist or something, these pillars would have inspired me to create something amazing and worth millions. just trust me on that.

stunning. i can't believe this is a real place. i remember not being able to tear myself away from this vivid greenery and a giant white bird flew right towards me. it was an amazing sight. mostly because the bird decided at the last second not to poop on us.

the gardens have different sections with international themes. i loved the japanese section. but instead of feeling like a fairy, i felt like a giant person. in case you were wondering, i'm much more of a fairy type, i have never really cared for being scary and stompy.

this was a perfect day. we spent all day at the gardens. we were exhausted that night, but it was cool because twilight was on in our hotel. in english. i fell asleep but jake was enjoying himself so much that he finished the movie alone.
jake and i stayed home from work today with some serious sickies, so this post is absolutely an escape from reality. it feels good to relive sunny days.
i have more to write on ipanema! look forward to me seeing a monkey! a real wild monkey!!
also, more rio here and here, and buzios posts here and here.
poor pip
so, they did take out one of her IVs, which is good at least. she still has her art-line and her central line. they also had to put a feeding tube in her little nose because they have been worried the g-tube is making her aspirate. they were able to place the nasal feeding tube farther down her stomach to try and avoid that.we are still missing her more than ever. i feel like i haven't seen her in forever. i said this in my last post, but even though we are spending so much time with her, it really doesn't feel like she is there.
ummmm, so yeah, there's an update. chin up....saying it 10 times.
Labels: hard stuff, monkey frog, piper jane, suck city
i'd like to zip myself up inside.

i've been going through a little bit. and so has a very dear friend of mine. she came to see me for a bang trim (my first day back at work since jury duty/pip's sickies) and lunch. she complimented me on my handbag, and i replied with "this bag makes me happy. material things really do matter." we laughed a lot, because it was of course a joke. but then, seriously, we pondered for a second and agreed that it did feel good to buy yourself something that costs too much once in a while. even if it means no vacations ever again. and no college for your first two kids. and also it was my christmas present so lay off me.
this might be the most vein thing i've ever said, but my bag really makes me feel pretty. it's soft and fancy and i swear, my children's children will inherit it. and they will love it like i do (or else no college for them either). jake doesn't believe me, but he's wrong. very wrong. this is all about legacy, ok? plus, when would i ever have gotten such a great deal on an icon veneta again? never, right? you all agree, once in a lifetime, right? please? am i officially a tool for writing a whole post about my love for a handbag and how it gets me through tough times?
are tools only boys?
Labels: christmas
longing for...

and mostly for my birdie to feel better, she is still asleep. we are really missing her so much. it seems strange considering the insane amount of time we have spent at her side. i can't wait to hold her and play with her. i'm aching for the enormous, goofy smile that she earned by belonging to me (and i earned from my dad). i miss her pipsqueaks and tapping. but again, mostly that smile. my pretty pip, hurry up so we can play again soon.
mountains of thank yous for your prayers. all your love makes it easier.
Labels: piper jane
she's sick. i'm in denial.
i think about that night sometimes. all the machines she was hooked up to, all the different lines she had in, all the blood transfusions, the oscillating ventilator, the medically induced coma and how she was so swollen that they had to goop jelly on her eyes because her lids couldn't shut all the way. she had stretch marks from all the fluid, she looked nothing like piper jane.
almost 2 years to the date later, we're there again. sorry if that was a long round-about way of it. this sucks. she is just short of that sick, which is a good thing, but she is very sick. it started on wednesday night when we met her in the emergency room at st. joseph's, i couldn't believe when the doctor told me she had almost had a cardiac arrest. the last two or three times she has been to the ER or PICU, it has been for moderate respiratory distress. i was kind of just expecting to see her breathing hard and a little upset. i couldn't believe she had been constantly ambu bagged since her arrival. total denial. around noon she was transferred to columbia. i rode in the front of the ambulance since the fellow was in the back with pip and the other paramedic (let me mention that we know these paramedics by name, they know piper like they know the back of their hands. this was her 17th ambulance ride) so i wasn't able to see what was going on. in my head i kept thinking that things are getting better already because we are going to columbia and it is one of the best children's hospitals in the nation. then the lights came on. then the siren came on. then we were going 90. have you ever gone 90 across the gw bridge? it's impossible (literally), unless you are in an ambulance.
this is getting long. it's good to write it all down, because i tend to get flustered and upset on the phone when i try to explain the situation. also, jake is still trying to get some sleep since we came home so late, and this keeps me busy.
we sat in the waiting area while they worked on her for about 5 hours. we were both not really sure what was going on. her heart rate started to drop, and they were having difficulty in trying to control it. the wound up doing and emergency central line, that goes directly to her heart, which helps a lot. she in on nitric, but as of this morning they have been able to ween that down by half (good sign). also, through the night they were able to take her off her blood pressure medicine. she got a blood transfusion last night because her count was low. her white blood cell was 3 times the normal amount because she is fighting pneumonia. she is on a paralytic drip to keep her still. so, she is medically comatose like she has been before. it's hard to see her just laying there, but compared to the morning when she was awake and crying out, i choose this. they had to tie her arms down and she couldn't understand why. she would just pull and pull at them trying to get them free. then she would look at me confused why i wasn't helping her. the hardest thing personally about these episodes is feeling helpless. i can't make it go away, and i can't make her feel better.
i just keep thinking, i can't believe this was only one week ago. i think i left out a lot of stuff, i'm pretty sure i rambled and proof reading seems too exhausting, so go read jake's blog.
Labels: hard stuff, i feel sad, piper jane, suck city
(un)sweet dreams
there you have it.
Labels: hard stuff
jake is working late
the second, is Teen Witch. My friend Sarah and I used to talk about this movie all the time. This movie has been on my dvr since the exact date of June 23rd, 2007. two and a half years of teen witch bliss. the best quotes from the below clip are "i wish brad saw more to me than just brains" and "look at how funky he is..i will never be hip" and also that Rhett Capaletti looks just like my cousin Jeff. also rhett's outfit is bare-midriff-riffic.
the final clip is from 30 Rock. did you get it the first time (teen witch is kind of a cult classic)? when i heard the words "supersonic, idiotic" come out of kenneth's mouth, i immediately started rapping along with him. that's when i knew this show was really something special.
if you want to know an address of where to send me thank you notes for two spectacular movie recommendations, email me.
Labels: ABBA, sweet dance moves, video
no one else can smile her smile
So, when i got there, pippy smiled a massive smile to welcome me. then we played and played. Piper Jane was herself. her spunky, silly, smiley, hyper-piper and throat grabbing self. i could do without the throat grabbing, but a minor con to so many pros. plus my throat is so grabbable.
her feeding tube disconnected and leaked all over my jeans so i went to the bathroom to clean myself off. i kind of felt like i shouldn't have left her like this, but it was so cute to look from the bathroom and see her standing there all alone and curious.


when my parents were in town, birdie had a complete heyday with my dad's glasses, so i decided i'd wear some. the first thing she did was pull them off and then poke me in the eye immediately with no warning. and then she laughed at herself.

i might frame this one of the big chucks/little chucks. it was an accident that we matched, i was all "pippy, you and mama match!'' and she was like '' squeak squeak". and then she threw her Dora on the floor. She always does that.

more things that happened today:
~her roommate, rubi, was having a moment with the nurses and they wanted privacy so they pulled the curtain around. the corner was right where we were sitting. Piper Jane peeked around the curtain and watched the whole thing. i pulled her back once, but when she went back and the nurses were laughing so hard, i thought it was probably harmless. she is a curious little monkey frog.
~i was singing pipsey "drive, drive, drive that firetruck" and i was poking her nose on the "ding ding ding'' part and when i stopped, she grabbed my finger and started poking her nose with it. she pays attention! ha
~she was happy enough to clap and smile. since i've taught her to clap, i have figured out that she has to be in a really good mood to do it. I was pretty much sure that "a really good mood" would never happen again, and i was so scared. it feels so good to be wrong.
i'm sorry for being so down about the move. and i'm sorry to my friends who had to hear my sobs and complaints this week. there are at least 5 of yas.
Labels: cute stuff, high tops, piper jane, wanaque
My first acting gig
Also this morning, some lady was screaming at her children on the subway like no one is around. I heard "shut the (f word) up! I don't have no (f word)ing chips!" i couldn't believe what I was hearing. Then when I looked over I was so shocked that her kids were only toddlers. She ought to be ashamed of herself, but probably isn't. You should only talk to strangers that way. Right? I mean, no one.
Labels: i was on tv, neighbor stories, the subway
what i'm up to





~she also got engaged and is getting married in 2011
Labels: boring, Family, fat daddy, hard stuff, wanaque














