Walking in on Piperjane.

My favorite part of my Pip visits is the moment I first walk in. I usually kind of sneak in quietly to see what Piperjane is up to before she knows she’s being watched. I often find her in funny positions, playing with her figures or climbing things that aren’t meant to be climbed. It cracks me up that she can feel my eyes on her, because she always knows I’m there after just a few seconds…and this is the best part…she turns around and gives me the grinniest evil smile I’ve ever seen since the last time.

Long intro.

So, the other morning, I walked in and Pip was sitting like this in her kiddie cart. I have never seen her do this in my life! I was a little surprised for a minute, and wondered who put her like that, but then she did a quick little shimmy and her legs swept out from under her hiney just like that! I sat there laughing which  made her realize she must have done something hilarious and then she started laughing and it was a chain reaction that lasted nearly 20 minutes.

Or, I guess way longer, because I’m laughing right now 4 days later.

Things the Burgler Took/Didn’t Take.

To help us cope with the aftermath of insecurities since being burgled (at least they gave us a funny word to use!), Jake and I have created a little game called “Things the burglar took/didn’t take”. Basically we don’t look for anything anymore. If it isn’t in our vision the second we need it, it was burgled.

“The burglar took our cereal bowls!”

“The burglar didn’t replace the toilet paper roll!”

“The burglar took my lace skirt!”

And then other times we’ll find things that are so valuable that we just can’t believe anyone in their right mind would pass them up.

“Jake, the burglar didn’t take my VHS of The Little Mermaid. He must not have known it’s a Disney Classic!”

“The burglar forgot to take our coasters, Reags!”

Here are a few other things he didn’t take.

My beloved wooden duck in a rain slicker, bonnet and galoshes. Thanks for looking over this one, stupid! You clearly don’t know the value of a good fake animal in rain gear. Once I realized we had had a break-in, I looked up to the top of my bookcase in a panic to see him standing there, proud and strong.

I know this book doesn’t look like much….

..but when you open it there are bushels of treasures inside. My coffee talk glasses, a polaroid of me and pip snuggling, TWO kinds of tea, and 10$ for an emergency sushi delivery. Mr. Big Tough Burglar thought it was just a plain boring book about words! Stupid!

Unfortunately, the jokes end here. I’m afraid I now have to list some things that weren’t so lucky.

The cord to my iPhone plug. Sniffles.

My other striped sock.

Another thing I’ve been doing, is saging the apartment. You light some sage and walk through your home letting the smoke get rid of all the bad energy. I don’t know if it’s real, but it’s a really nice thought!

So I’ve been saging the place any time I start to feel bad. The other night I saged while Jake was at work. When it was done, I put it in a little glass bowl to cool off. I didn’t see that there was one tiny ember still going strong. A few hours later I was practically choking from the brush fire smoke in my apartment. I went in the kitchen and half the bunch had burned down! It is still extremely smoky smelling and all our clothes stink.

Back fire!

Piper Jane’s friend Abby

I don’t know if I’ve told you about this cute wee girl before, but little Abby is awesome. Abby is just over a year old and has CCMS just like Pip. In the early weeks of her life, I spoke with her mom, Julie, on the phone. Aside from facebook, we don’t contact each other often, but it is always so nice to know she is there, and that we’re not alone. I love checking up on Abby, and seeing what new things she is doing. The video of her signing yesterday is definitely going to give me premature smile wrinkles!

Although Abby and Piperjane share the same diagnosis, Abby was blessed to be able to come home when she was just a few months old, and she is even breathing without the ventilator! Her parents and brother are so in love with her, and their devotions inspires me when I get frustrated that our situation is so hard.

Julie is basically Wonderwoman. I’m so impressed with the Leach family. I hope you’ll go read about them and drop a supportive comment or two!

Life as a Leach

Casette

My friend, Seth Smoot (husband of my good friend Kendra) is working on a really cool documentary about the Casette Tape. He and Zack Taylor have a kick starter in hopes to raise enough money to make the entire film. Check out their kickstarter video below, and please donate to their project! They only have a few more days to reach their goal!

Seth and Zack are both so talented, and I’d love to see this film one day! Thanks for supporting them!

Sorry for posting this both here and on HDOF, but I just want to get the word out to everyone!

Piperjane and the Christmas concert.

I’m finally able to talk about the Christmas concert without crying. Not to sound all pitiful, but it was very disappointing. It’s just that I was so excited to take Piperjane to it. I envisioned her “getting” it and enjoying the music. I got giddy imagining us dancing to the songs and smiling at all the people. Blythedale can feel a little like Groundhog’s Day sometimes, and this event was going to shake up the routine. I couldn’t wait to do something different with my little girl.

Here are some pictures to help tell the tale.

In the elevator ride there. Pip looks confused/alarmed about the early call-time. On schedule to perform was The Frey, Gavin Degraw, and Rob Thomas. We don’t really know much of their music, but I’m promising Pip a good time.

We are seated (close to the front) and waiting for the program to begin. Pippy is skeptical, but looks on the bright side and remembers that mom brought her my little pony toy.

Piper is getting lots of attention and she is starting to get pissed. She is clinging to me like a tree frog and avoiding eye contact with anyone wearing a Santa hat. Which by the way is everyone in the entire room.

I decide that as soon as the music starts, we’ll only stay a few songs. I use a portable suction machine hoping a junky airway is the cause of her stress.  Her vent starts beeping violently and everyone stares. Piperjane is nestled into my bosom and keeps up the tree frogging.

FINAL STRAW. Santa Clause’s grandmother comes over to say hello to piper. She is wearing a red velvety floor length fur trimmed gown and repeatedly patting Piperjane on the head. Pippy is terrified of her. She is literally freaking out right before my eyes. She decides to swat the poor woman away. I apologize and thank her for trying.

Just as the music is about to start, Piperjane barfs everywhere and we are escorted out quickly by a team of therapists and nurses. Everyone is staring and I feel hot all over my body. Piperjane kicks me in the privates and her shoe falls off.

We miss the entire concert.

I felt awful the whole time I was cleaning her up. I shouldn’t have made her stay there when she was clearly not having fun. I just kept hoping she would hear some music and start to enjoy herself. I thought with her being a little older this year, she might have a good time.

She quickly cheered up once I got the puke clothes off. She jumped around and smiled and played. I was glad to see her being that Pip again, but I was sad to be back in the room like every other day.

So, that’s the story of the Blythedale Christmas Concert. I didn’t realize I was so upset until I got to work and someone asked me how the concert was. I started crying like a crazy person out of no where. I’m really not a drama queen unless I’m trying to be funny, but I had a boardline histrionic meltdown right there in the back room.

Can anyone relate? Do you feel like you have meltdowns about some of the most minor issues?

PS thanks for coming with me Jen!

my real live Glee experience.

I wouldn’t call myself a “Gleek”, but I do watch the show now and then. It’s fun, I sing along and I love the cheerios. Especially Britney and Santana.


That little bleached thing top right was me just 10 years ago!

So this week’s episode, the Glee coach (I doubt he is called a coach, but nothing else is coming to mind), wanted to propose to his girlfriend. He asked his students for help (I got it, Glee teacher!) putting together a proposal number. Cute.

As I watched and smiled and sang along…

….We found love in hopeless play-eeeece.

..it started all feeling kind of familiar. Did this happen to me?

Yes, it did.

My cheerleading coach’s boyfriend asked his girlfriend’s squad (pictured) to help him propose with a cheer at a Friday night football game. We flipped with excitement. To us, he seemed like the most romantic person in the world. Can you imagine all of us squealing teenagers? He could’t tell us much in advance because he knew there was no way we could keep the secret. So you can imagine when game day arrived, we were nearly peeing our bloomers.

During the 3rd quarter break, we changed the words of a cheer to add her name in it as he shuffled her down in front of the crowd. He got on one knee and we all watched with our hands over our mouths. I remember my friend Traci crying because she was so touched. She said “yes” and the crowd roared with applause.

Ha Ha Ha.

For some reason now, this memory is so awkward!! I can’t put my finger on it. Also, once I dated a guy whose roommate’s girlfriend was an ex of the hero in this story. Finding out any information about your teachers outside of school is like seeing a dog walk on it’s hind legs. I think the memories started growing awkward there.

Adorable in ridiculous proportions.

Adorable part 1- Piperjane carrying around a figurine at all times. Nothing new, but cute as ever.

Adorable part 2-This swinging game that Jake and Pipsey do together. Everyone within a ten mile radius feels the happiness she radiates, I’m sure of it.



Adorable Part 3-The smile on Piperjane’s face when I showed up to with a mess of shiny new pink blankies sent/made from people that love her through the blob. Look at this picture. We are up to our ears in backup blankies, and Pip.

I hope these photos brought you a little joy this morning!

Feature.

Happy Monday!

I hope everyone had a great weekend. My brain is slowly deciding not to be a negative pile of burgle thoughts more and  more as the days go. I even stayed home alone while Jake went to dinner with a friend the other night. I was making real progress until we went to bed last night, then I was basically certain there was herd of scary men tromping down my hallway after I heard a creek in the floorboard. Anyway, Thanks again for your comments. It’s funny. I have sometimes felt very frustrated when people compare their medical stories to make me feel better about Piper. It was the hardest in the beginning when she was a premie. We knew she had some serious health issues, but no one could get over the fact that she was a premie. People would tell me that their friend’s cousin’s oldest sister’s baby came way earlier than mine, so there was no way pip wasn’t going to be better in no time. They obviously all meant well, but it just never provided any comfort. What I’m saying is in this case it’s totally opposite. The more stories I’ve heard about people getting robbed or burgled or broken into, the more I feel like one day we’ll feel safe and normal again. Thank you from the bottom of my broken burgled heart.

The real reason I’m writing this post, is that a really awesome blogger named Megan of Greetings From Texas, has featured me as one of her favorite bloggers. It was fun to answer the questions, and brag about my picture with Jay Z.  So Megan is one of those girls who would leave a comment on here that would make me laugh so hard, I would immediately click back to her blog to find out what’s new with this chick. I think her blog is going to do very well. She is coming to NYC in a few months and my friend Jen and I have a secret plan to hang out with her!

Ok, so here’s the feature. Happy MLK day!

Hello again.

Hi guys! Thanks so much for all the comments. It’s crazy how many of you have gone through similar experiences, and some of you even recently! Thank you again for reaching out to me. It has helped so much.

To leave on a happier note before the weekend, I wanted to post this little slideshow that Jake made of 2011! I’ve watched it over and over since he finished it last night. I have had a really rough few days and watching our happy memories on the screen with one of my favorite songs just makes me feel better. The beginning few shots of Piperjane are especially precious to me.

Enjoy, and happy weekend!

Breinholts 2011 in 3 and 1/2 minutes from Jacob Breinholt on Vimeo.

This post should be about our snowboarding trip.

Jake and I went away to Utah over the weekend for a snowboarding trip with a few of our friends. We stayed at a beautiful resort in Snowbird, celebrated my brothers 30 birthday and had a great time.

On Monday night, we took the redeye back to NYC. After dropping Jake off in midtown a little after 7am Tuesday morning so he could head downtown for work, I headed home uptown. I was exhausted and annoyed that I had to stop at 10th ave to get gas. I was very cranky after being stuck in traffic and looking for a parking spot and trying to not fall asleep at the wheel while doing so, I had a quick thought that this morning could not get worse.

Then I walked into my apartment and immediately knew something was wrong.

The first thing I noticed was the the coat closet door was open. I thought it seemed weird that I would leave that open on my way out of town. Then I walked into the living room and put down my suitcases. I looked into my bedroom and saw the cedar chest at the end of my bed had been pushed over a few feet. I thought “why would Jake move that?”. Then I remembered that I had picked up Jake from work before we went to the airport for our trip, and I was the last person in the apartment. Then I looked on the floor and saw my sewing scissors in front of the cedar chest, they were broken. The denial was starting to fade, and the reality that someone had been in my home set in.

I didn’t really know what to do. What if he was hiding behind my shower curtain? Should I call 911 or look up the number for the Precinct in my neighborhood? I decided on 911 and looked for more clues while I cried to the dispatcher. Most anything with a drawer had been gone through. There was a giant shoe print on my white couch from where he came in through the window. The curtain and rods were in pieces on the floor from a difficult entrance (they repelled into my window from my roof). The window to my fire escape was open from when he exited. My beloved antique cedar chest had been chipped and pried open with my heavy duty sewing scissors (which ended up breaking). The cops came within minutes and were thankfully very helpful. My super and landlord spent the day helping me fix up my windows so that it wont happen again.

It’s crazy. In the last day, I have spent every waking moment thinking about it. Someone was in my home. What did they want? I don’t know how I’ll ever think about anything else ever again.

 But, as much as this whole thing has scared me, I feel very lucky that scared is all I am. I’m not hurt or raped or dead. We’ll get over the few things that are broken or missing.

I don’t know how to end this post.