*note: i generally only post pictures where pip is looking pretty as a poppy and in her happiest of moods. although she is for the most part well, days like yesterday aren’t totally uncommon, i just dont share them as often..so be warned. in fact, be very warned because i am on fi-yuh (fire).
when i arrived on friday morning for my normal visit with pips, i was feeling pumped that it was going to be a good one. even though she has been having some pukies for the last few days, she was doing better, so pheww. she didn’t go to school, so we just rocked out in the chair and read stories and watched tom and jerry on my phone. piper dosed off for a few minutes in my lap and i was having a great time putting the mother in smother.
while i was there, some of her labs came back and it showed that as a result of her vomiting, her sodium count was on the high side. so they decided to give her an iv just to rehydrate her. i stayed and piper jane continued to watch movies on my phone and was a trooper through it all. when i say trooper, i mean she held still and kept her eyes on her movies and only winced while they tried over and over and over and over and over to get a line. one of these days i might show you the dots that mark her body from line attempts. hundreds and maybe even thousands. im not exaggerating. her veins are weak and small and she doesnt hold still like any child, making it really difficult for the iv/picc/art giver.
so after numerous tries, and every party feeling frustrated (and piper more dehydrated by the minute), they decided to do an emergency line. the emergency line is called and intraosseous puncture.
for those interested, here is a definition:
intraosseous (intră-oss-iŭs) adj. within a bone. i. needle a wide-bore needle for insertion directly into the bone marrow of (usually) the tibia in children, used only in emergencies to administer drugs and fluids to an unconscious patient when no other means of intravenous access can be gained.
now, piper has had this before, but i’ve never been in the room when it was inserted. it is my own fault for staying, but i didnt want to leave her. a lot of times i am shuffled out of the room, so i really appreciated being in there with her, especially since she was awake and would frequently look for me. when they were inserting this giant needle into pippy’s bone (her tibia) i kept looking away and then back thinking they’d be done, so i would see every time how hard it was to put in. when they got it in, i knew, because…….i heard it pop. i need a minute……
that popping sound. i can’t get rid of it.
she tried to kick out the io puncture right away, so they had to wrap her legs like this. again, she hardly complained at all and just held her can of princess vegetable soup all along. i could tell she was miserable. it hurt. especially since she wasn’t complaining. she deserves to, but she hardly does.
here is her mermaid fin. you can see a little of the IO puncture in her left shin. she has vaseline on her face because of a huge rash. (from her own constant wiping)
we did end up going to the emergency room just to have her checked out and to give her a real iv (and take out her IO). her sodium lowered, she was hydrated and doing better within a few hours.
here is jake with her today. she is doing much better.
i get a lot of awesome recognition. i get so much praise for being piper’s mom. i love it, but i feel so undeserving sometimes when i think about it. i didn’t really choose this. i’m just reacting to it by doing my best and trying to stay happy. Piper Jane is the one who is suffering the most, she is the one being strong and amazing every day. did you know i’m afraid to have more babies? partly because i’m afraid of having more sick babies but almost equally because i’m afraid of another emergency c-section. i am weak and scared when all along my almost three year old is moving mountains on a regular basis. my own medical procedures that have been big and main events in my personal life, are mini compared to pip’s daily obstacles. it’s not fair. piper sometimes looks at me with those big pouty eyes filled with so much pain and confusion, and i am helpless and useless. the best i can do for her is tickle her arm, pet her hair and mouth that i’m sorry.
i’m so proud of piper for her strength. she is pretty awesome. i am certain that i could never do what she does and just brush it off the way she can. you know, get an emergency line into a bone that probably hurt like hell, then have your legs bound down so you cant move them…and all of this after 20 iv attempts. what does she do? she looks for her princess soup can. and goes back to playing.
I’ll tell you why you deserve praise. Because none of us can imagine going through what you have gone through/what you go through unless it’s happened to us. Because you are there for Piper and you ARE doing what you can do. Because although you may not have chosen this lot, you made choices that take a strong person/mother to make. You are a great mom because you love your little girl and it shows.
Your post moved me and I wanted to comment. I hope I didn’t say anything wrong
Reags,
Oh man… I have to say when I think about what we’re going through and up against, I think about your family–especially Piper–and you guys are such a source of strength and inspiration. Of course it’s also hard to read about little Piper and her little body enduring so much and you standing by helpless–makes my mommy heart ache. I really can’t imagine that being a ‘normal’ part of parenting and yet you guys have had to deal with that all along and for the most part I never hear you complain. I think that’s part of what makes you so amazing in my book. Especially now that I’m on the flip side of having a sick or abnormal baby–because now that it’s ME I feel like “HEY everybody! Pay attention to me and my problem, this is a BIG DEAL.” But looking back I’m like, “Wow, Reagan was dealing with this everyday, but still had time/heart/character to listen to any lame little complaints I may have had.” And the thing is, I wouldn’t have faulted you for being like “Oh your baby’s not sleeping through the night? Guess what, my baby lives in the hospital so cry me a river.” But you never did. And I think the real measure of a trial is how we handle them, and you Reagan, are remarkable in that aspect–you and Jake have handled this with amazing grace and love.
I think you’re great. I’m sorry that Piper has and continues to go through so much–what an angel she is. You guys are a great example to so many people–me included–even if you didn’t choose it.
Yeah, Reagan. You ARE THE MOM! Nobody can care about each little (or big) thing that happens to Piper like you can, nobody feels her pain like you do, and she chose you for a reason–you have her back at all times. I know we can learn our best lessons from those we love that have special needs, and we become so much more than ourselves when we parent them. I love you. I love your baby, too. I love your husband, too.
Oh Reagan I am SO sorry for you and sweet Piper! That made me cry just imagining how hard it must have been for you as a mother to watch your baby go through that, and for Piper who must have been in so much pain and so scared. You must just roll your eyes if you read my whiny day entries on my blog!
I may not know you in person but I have just fallen in love with that beautiful girl of yours and I can’t stand the idea of her going through so much…I’ll be praying for you and her!
Piper is the toughest baker girl of all time and I’m proud to be her auntee.
I don’t know that I can write you anything to make you feel all better, but I wish I could! Just know that I think you, Jake, and Piper are so brave in your own ways, and I hope to always handle life’s obstacles as well as you guys do. I love little Piper from all I know about her from this little blog here. Part of me really wanted to meet her when we were up there, but I was so scared I would cry as soon as I saw her, and her struggles, in person. I didn’t want to cry, I wanted to be strong for you because I know it’s beyond what I can imagine harder for you. A million times great job on being so amazing! I really look up to you guys for being so brave and strong all the time. Go ahead and whine all you want. Were all here going to be here for you.
Just caught up on your blob:) So sorry to hear about little Pip and the episode. i know that little trooper goes through soooo much and she is such a strong little soul. But I think kids are more resilient than adults… I went to the hospital ONCE with Olive, they poked and pricked her 17 time (seems small when I say this to you). She was hysterical, but I REALLY thought they were going to admit ME to a crazy house. You really are a brave mom!! You shouldn’t be afraid to have more babies!:) You’re a great and strong momma! Nothing can rock you now, just make you stronger…
Ok, that sounded like a pep talk. i didn’t mean it. i meant that you are cool. Bless little Pip. She’s in our prayers!
I can’t believe that did an intraosseus line. Seriously?!?!? I didn’t think they did those outside of an ER setting. Oh Reagan, and you were there for it! Please tell me they had her on lots of pain meds and that they numbed her leg. Please tell me they did.
Also, can I just say ditto to what Miggy said?!? Amy has a way with words, and the best I can say right now is, “yeah, what she said.” Sending lots of love to sweet Piper, AND her mom.
I can’t say anything that hasn’t already been said.
Every word above (yours & comments) makes me bawl.
You and Piper are BFF teamy mates.
2 Peas in a strong little pod.
Inspirational to all that read your blog.
Uhh mazing. Both of you.
Reagan,
I just want to tell you how amazing you and your little family are. You are faced with so many trials and handle them so well. You are always there for Piper and you can tell that she just LOVES her mom! You and your story are an inspiration to me! Know that I look up to you for your strength and am amazed at what Piper overcomes.
Thanks so much everyone. I love these comments and have felt love from them all. Kaedi, no numbing. Ugg right?she did get a little morphine drip once they got the io line in. She calmed down quickly, but yeah, it was pretty terrible pain I’m sure.
Seriously guys, thank you so much for the love. I need a boost sometimes.
I have to second everything other people have said. I just wanted you to know that I love you and think you are truly amazing. I CAN NOT fathom experiencing what you do on a daily basis. We each get our own trials in this life because they’re fit just for us. I can’t imagine trading places with you {or you with me either, I’m sure!} Please, please, PLEASE don’t be afraid to have more babies. You know there are some more incredibly amazing spirits, just like Piper, waiting for you to be their mommy. And you do realize the chances of having a repeat of last time, both with the baby and the birth, right?
Just know that you’re amazing and I’m proud of what a great mother you are. You are an inspiration and wonderful example to me. Keep up the good work, mama.
what can I say after that post and the comments. I am all teary eyed and trying to see my computer to type. Your best is amazing and inspirational. Thank you for sharing your and Piper’s life and doing it in a way that makes me want to be better and stronger. You are a, what does Oprah say?, Woman Warrior. If not then you are still a Woman Warrior. And thank you to Piper. Thank you, thank you!
Gosh Reag. Big fat sigh and wiping my eyes after that post.
What a tiny little giant she is. Thank you for sharing this.
You are amazing.
You’re a wonderful mother Reagan. I love you! And we are so proud that Piper is our niece. She is such a miracle. She couldn’t have more loving and caring parents than you and Jake.
My goodness, Pip is a champ. She is amazing. We can all learn something from her. I love reading about her and seeing her sweet little face. You are doing an amazing job as her mother Reagan. I know I don’t know you personally, but the way you talk about her and love her cheer her on, it is inspirational. Pip is lucky to have you and Jake.
(and take it from me, if you do have a second pregnancy that ends in a c-section, the second c-section is way easier than the first)
What a strong and beautiful little girl Piper is!! Being a mother myself I could not hold back the tears of the thought of you and her going through that. You and your family are amazing and even though I don’t know you personally, I wanted to tell you that your story is inspiring and I am so happy that you are willing to share it. You guys are always in my thoughts and prayers. Keep up the positive attitude
Piper’s such a brave girl…darn those thousands of pokes from needles. That makes me so sad.
And,Paisley has that same rash. I can’t get rid of it! I am constantly slathering on the vaseline and any other non irritating goo I can find. What else have you found that helps it?!