Our friend, Foodie (really her name is Maggie Miller, but I call her Foodie) recently went on an amazing month long trip to South Africa with her husband, to visit relatives. I was jeal’ and excited to hear all about her trip, and then we got a package from her. She sent over a book with beautiful art/photography (such beautiful colors), and two outfits and a dolly for our Pip.

It was naptime, and Pip doesn’t smile when she is tired..so I don’t have any smiling picture. But the good news is that these outfits FIT! So Pip will be wearing them again, hooray!

(btw Pippy sure loves her new ipad that she apparently got for my birthday.)

The above outfit is definitely one of my favorite Pipsqueak outfits of all time. Also, that was the day of my birthday, I had serious plans to party with Piper Jane, and she had serious plans to nap the whole time. So we napped a little together. Until I got caught sleeping while holding Piper Jane and that is against the rules.

below, Pipsqueak looks like Punky Brewster, right? And she went ape for the dolly.

For some reason, she kept holding the doll straight up in the air like this. It was so weird, like she knew it was from Africa. Has someone shown her The Lion King? Because I’m pretty sure she is pulling a “circle of life” number here.

Aw, look at the poor mama bear on the floor. All lonely and forgotten, haha.

Pipsey looks bigger and bigger to me in every pipture these days, but the very biggest are the ones when she is sitting on my lap. She takes over the lap! And her legs go on for days. I’ll let her sit on my lap forever though. Until she is too embarrassed.

So, I start my new job tomorrow. I wasn’t able to spend as much time with Piper Jane during my time off as I was hoping. Partly because I traveled so much, but mostly because of the ice and snow and danger outside. Last week was basically a full week for us, and it was really special.

I feel lucky to look forward to my time with Piper Jane. I am always happy to see her, because I don’t see her enough. It isn’t wrong for parents to feel tired of their kids, or to want time away from them, but I am kind of lucky to not have to ever be tired of Piper Jane. I’m tired of the hospital, I’m tired of the routine, I’m tired of venty, I’m tired of the feeding pump and the suctioning, but I’m never tired of her. Our time together isn’t wasted by me hoping a toy distracts her while I can get a few things done (i was a nanny working 70 hours a week, so i know a little bit about real/normal parenting). Instead, I’m there to see her, and I’m focused on only her, aside from occasionally checking my email or feeding my virtual fish. I’m not trying to make anyone feel like they don’t spend enough quality time with their kids, I really just mean that the majority of our time spent with Piper Jane is quality time, and that is really rare and special. When I’m with her, I don’t have my laundry with me, or my broom, or my clients, or my blow dryer. I have the chance to be on the floor with her, playing and kissing and cuddling. I can practice walking with her, I can read a story to her, I can put on a puppet show for her, I can bounce her on my knee and I can sing her edited Sublime songs without her having to share me with the tv or the ironing.

It still sucks, dont get me wrong…I love to complain about it when I’m jealous of the the ideal family picnic or vacation,  but we are lucky in our own weird way.

*for some reason i’m a little paranoid that this might hurt feelings. please don’t let it, it’s just my own way of trying to love our situation.