A photo, so you can imagine what I looked like while I spewed accidental vulgarness from my trap.
The first question I’ll be answering is about my most embarrassing moment. I don’t think I’ve ever written this down on my blob, but if I have then I apologize for repeating.
In case I am somehow managing to come across as an extremely dignified and lady-like human being (which I highly doubt) I’m here to tell you that I’m one of the clumsiest people I’ve ever met. I’m clumsy in manymanymanymany ways, but especially vocally. This gets me into all kinds of funny situations. Sometimes they are only funny later on.
This one wasn’t funny until later on….much later on. Like, two or three months ago.
Picture this: I’m 23, and pregnant. At church. Always the best/worst place to embarrass yourself. I’m chatting with this girl whom I don’t know very well. She asks me if I’m having any baby showers, and I tell her I’m not sure and that a few friends had mentioned it. She said “You HAVE to have a baby shower. It’s the best part! The presents, the food, the decorations…..” and I sat there nodding and smiling and then I said..
Yeah, all the baby p*rn.
She said “OH MY GOSH!!! WHAT?!?!?!”
I almost screamed when I realized what I said. Then I tried to explain myself.
My explanation: “Did I say baby p*rn? It’s not the kind you might be thinking of…it’s like this, my sister is engaged and she seems to have stacks of bridal magazines everywhere and clippings of gowns and flowers taped up all over the place and my family and I you see we tease her that it is her wedding p*rn. So when we were just talking a minute ago about all the presents and everything I kind of thought that this was my version of wedding p*rn, but it’s just with like a baby instead, you know what I meant, right? Right? You get it right?.”
Even with my best explanation, I realized that those are two words that should never ever ever be used together. It was my first and only time making that mistake, if you don’t count all the times I’ve said them together when telling the story.
Anyway, poor girl. She handled it really well considering the shock on her face was so obvious it could have been identified as a feature. Eyes, chin, nostrils, shock, cheekbones, forehead.
And that is my most embarrassing moment.
Pretty bad, right?
Please feel free to share yours!
@DHall: haha, yes. but that’s embarrassing momentS! it’s happened multiple times so it can’t be considered my one single most embarrassing moment.
I have three children and they have provided me with several lovely embarrassing stories, but a favorite is when I only had 2 boys. Almost 3 years old and 20 months. The oldest had some developmental delays and was constantly being tested. One day we were having testing done at the local Elementary School. As we sat down to start I commented on how low the fire alarm switches were and if they ever worried that the K-5. So there we stand in the parking lot with the entire school staring and pointing at us. Because if the fire drill isn’t “scheduled” the fire department actually has to come and search EVERYTHING. The school and fire department were nice enough to let us go home once they knew what exactly happened, but I heard that the school sat in the parking lot for almost 2 hours. Not one of my better days.
Ahh, so funny Reagan! I thought of this post as I wrote “baby drugs” on a box in our medicine cabinet.
MOst embarrasing moment:
Sending a love letter to a boy I liked on his mission in paraguay and stuffing it with colorful fall leaves from a recent hike I’d been on – only to discover that I was covered in poision ivy and poision ivy does not die in snail mail to paraguay – and he was covered in poision ivy, as well as his companion and a bunch of paraguayians who wanted to see the interesting leaves.
needless to say, we did not get married.
True story. Totally embarrassing…. ugh.
When I was in nursing school I got sick. Super sick. So sick the hangy ball thingy in the back of my throat (medically termed the “uvula”) was swollen. Crazy swollen. So large it caused occasional choking. Gross.
Anyway… I went to the clinic. Of course it was a med student because it was a teaching hospital. The cute med student came in and started his assessment.
“What’s bothering you today?”
Me, the nursing student, not wanting to use silly old layman’s terms confidently stated…
“My vulva is so swollen I’ve been choking on it.”
Oy.