All I have to say right now is that I miss you.
I love this blog. I’ve thought about ending it a few times because of the shambles my life is in, but I literally want to throw up at that thought. I can’t do it.
Sidenote: I still don’t check the traffic, I’ve never really been one for that, but in case there was any confusion..I’m so glad you are here. I’m so glad you read. I’m so glad to get emails from you and comments from you and I’m just glad you want to join in on the action. I still feel bad about hollerin’ at the mean yous a while back, but I also still feel like it was the right thing for me to do at the time. You are all welcome to be here except for the ones of you who are jerks.
Anyway, yes I miss you so much.
And I want to write. I have so many hilarious stories that I wish I could share. You wouldn’t believe some of the trouble that has just fallen straight from hell directly into my lap sent by some kind of angry devil demon. Most of it is not funny, some of it is actually kind of scary, but there’s enough that some can’t be dealt with in any other way besides laughter. None of this can be written about publicly unfortunately. Y’all, my life is like a lifetime movie right now. One that is equal parts comedy and drama. I mean, when I say this stuff out loud to friends and family I can’t believe I’m talking about my own life. It’s funny and so so not funny at the same time. You get the picture.
But also I’m doing so good. I’m spending really really really great times with Piperjane. Like, our relationship is completely different these days. When I hang out with her I can’t believe I stayed in a situation that got in the way of our relationship for so long. I realized I’ve spent her whole life trying my hardest to keep a sinking ship afloat and as hard as that is to admit, I’m just happy to be starting fresh..and for the chance to make it up to her. I can now devote so much more time and love and energy to that pip and more to myself and my family/friendships all at the same time.
Honestly it’s the best thing that has ever happened to me. I mean it.
You are great! We do the best we can so don’t regret the past or feel guilty..it makes you stringer xxoo
I love your blog!! I think you are a fantastic mother and so much fun! It is a so fun to read about your adventures in NY. I am fascinated by your life in the city. Keep writing and ignore the haters! Boo
OMG the last Lifetime Movie I watched was called “The Wife He Met Online.” I don’t have cable, so I only get to watch Lifetime when I’m at my parents’ house (in Hendrix Creek, what, what!).
It was so scary in a really unbelievable kind of way. But I’m sitting here and really hoping that your life is free from stabbings, fire, and crazy ghosts telling you that you suck. You’re referring to some other less murder-y Lifetime Movie, right? Please say yes.
Thank you for the update! The end is the best part! YAY!
Just to clarify, when I said “the end is the best part,” I’m talking about this post.
You just sound so positive, it makes me smile. For you and your sweet girl.
Just wanted to take a second to say that I respect the hell out of you. I love this blog and I wish nothing but the best for you and that beautiful daughter of yours.
Go go go girl power Raegan!
Reading between the lines here, it must have been so hard to feel ‘torn’ between Jake and Piper. Honestly, there were certain times you wrote an entry and you could tell there was a bit of a divide, or some tension happening. Sad, but AMAZING that you are in a great place with Piper now. Just amazing. You both look happy
I saw someone the other day and thought it was you, I almost went up to her and said, “hey Reagan want to play?” because that would be so much fun! As much as I am entertained by my own children, I think you and Piper would be so much fun to play with! Hang in there! Eat some popsicles and try to soak up the summer!
I am so happy that you are doing well overall.:) And many, many, YAYs that you get to spend time with Pip that leaves you feeling the love and much peace.
I read the comment from Chrissy and had to laugh. I have to echo the sentiment that I hope your life is free of stabbings and mean ghosts…and I’ll even take it to the next level and add that I hope no ghosts try and stab you, either.
I totally get what you are saying about not even believing that it is your life that you are trying to explain to loved ones. I have said to my sister before, “If I tried to make up things right now it wouldn’t be as bizarre as what is really happening.”
I love ya, girlie! You are awesome dollface!
May the deamons from hell that land in your lap keep going straight down back to the depth’s where they came from…. you and piper are still in my prayers….(side note)I totally understand the laughing syndrome!
Good for you.
So happy to see you again, Reagan. You are a ray of sunshine on good days and bad.
XOXO
Reags! Hang in there! I just wish there was something we could do for you without being all up in your business. If you ever think of anything, you just let us know!
Also so glad you’re getting more time w/Pip. I love hearing about her because I think she might be the only child as sassy as my little girl. Who knew you could get out-sassed by a 10 month old? I didn’t, but let me tell you it happens every dang day up in this household. Every. dang. day.
Love this post. You go woman, you go
& Pip too! Brave that awesome new world with GUSTO, it’s yours for the taking!
I am so thrilled to hear you’re doing so well. Hate that things have been as ridiculous as a lifetime movie, but love how graciously you handle it all.
Love you Reags.
Though I don’t know your exact situation and you don’t know me I just want to let you know that you’re one of the coolest people that I don’t know
I read your blog in awe of you and all you’ve accomplished in such a short time!! Your love for your daughter takes my breath away. You both are so lucky to have each other!!
Life sucks sometimes…..there’s no way of sugar-coating it. It just does. But I know that with your great family and friends and hopefully a few kind words from strangers you’ll get through it and come out even cooler and stronger than before.
Take care of yourself and Piper Jane!!
Laughter is a good way to handle things! I am glad you’re working out things
I think you are awesome and you are rising above and taking the high road, which is never easy.
Sometimes it takes your breaking point for the sun to finally shine through. It took that for me with my “D word” and I am the happiest I’ve ever been! It is hard as hell but so much better then the hell I was in for such a long time. You are doing awesome!
So, so sorry to hear bad stuff keeps happening to you. I am so happy about your time with Piper and your ability to see the good in this, though. I hope things look up really soon.
“Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day”
Sending lots of hugs your way. You are not alone and we all Love You! I wish i could have you cut my hair again becuz it was fab but my schedule is hard to get into the city with my maddie girl and her special schedule — but you are never out of my mind xx00xx00xx000
Don’t be bullied or walked upon! and stay true and committed to family and friends unlike some people! your committment shows :>
Any chance you could share how your relationship with Piper Jane has changed? I am not looking for any dirty details whatsoever! Are you more connected? Keep smiling you are beautifuL!
What isn’t today might be tomorrow. Best wishes, Reagan. We are all behind you.
Hugs!
I am glad you’re still here
I almost never comment, but I get a lot of hope and appreciation from your posts, living with the challenges that you and Pip face and making your love for her so abundantly clear is a very admirable thing.
I dont know you, but in my head I have the feeling that if we did know each other in real life we would be really good friends. The friend that you eat a tub of Ben and Jerry’s with, or drink a whole bottle of really good wine with and then you see the bottle is empty and you start laughing…. Right, now I sound like a crazy person…
Hang in there, things will get better, Not today or tomorrow, but eventually, they will. And in the meantime, keep smiling, because really you are awesome and you deserve it.
I just want you to know, not that you know me, but in the most universal “what is right is right” sort of way, is that this post to me defines what a Mom is…true and true. You and your sweet girl are going to be better than fine, you are going to be the truest “you two” ever! I send you love, peace and all that is good. XOXOXO
I haven’t commented before, even when I have been so touched by you and Piper Jane’s lives. Something about your post today reminded me of something in my life, a totally different situation I think. So I chose to come out from my side of the monitor and share something I learned.
I didn’t know how much I had missed/was missing until circumstances changed and I was with my kids and participating in their lives in a more concrete way. I couldn’t make up for time lost, but I could from then forward change and it has changed our relationships for the better. I just wish my older kids would have gotten a bit more of it.
You are able to spend so much quality time with Pips at a time that I believe she is just starting to form memories that will last a lifetime, those that will be there forever, that when she can communicate whether it be via sign language, word boards or any other of our new technology she will be able to say remember when.
OK, so had to post that I loved this post enough that last night that I had a dream I met you and Piper. (It was a happy dream, watching the two of you interact, not scary stalker dream)
It makes me sad that you were feeling so torn for so long – especially since I think that feeling is so common amongst families of children with special needs. But I am happy you are seeing this silver lining now.
‘Honestly itβs the best thing that has ever happened to me. I mean it.’
Get past the hard parts remembering this. This change is GOOD! Positive! Difficult? Heck yeah! But you are going to come out the other side so much stronger and happier. Ready to take on a whole new bigger and brighter life!
I feel like I am reading my own words! As a mom in the middle of a divorce I can totally identify with you feelings. I remember back in December (a couple weeks after my husband and I first separated)and things were so awful I had to laugh. My husband had found someone he loved more than me, the baby I miscarried would have been due on Christmas Eve, I had so much heartache and crises I couldn’t even talk about, I had no way to support my son and myself, I had medical issues (and bills) coming out of my ears, and to top it all off I had a gall bladder scan done which left me radioactive and unable to hold my son that day. When the radiology tech told me I would be radioactive I almost burst out laughing. I mean, really, what kind of 26 year old has so much unwanted drama in her life? I realized that there was nothing I had faced (or could face) that God would not carry me through. As much as it hurts and as scary as it can get, there is almost a peace in knowing you have hurt so much yet survived. That our nightmares come true and yet we still live, breathe, and move on.
I am so sorry that you have to experience such trials and I will pray for you as I know so very well how your heart hurts. I know that your sweet Piper will bring you healing just like my Graesen has brought healing to me.
Miss you too. Bless those silver linings in the cloudsξ
Just wanted to check in and see how you are doing. Your lovely times with Piper Jane make me smile. Glad to see you are on the road to a happier life <3
I’m not sure that I have ever posted, but I have followed your witty posts ever since CJane mentioned you a long time ago. I just love your personality and am so thrilled for you that you are moving forward in your life. I always say that many times, the hard times are there so the best of times can come into our lives:) Can’t wait for it to get even better for you:) I only wish the best for you and your beautiful Piper Jane:)
I’ve been following you and Piper for the last two years or so and I hope just because of the ups and downs of life you do not delete your blog. Your daughter is so beautiful and so are you. I love the pictures you post of your baby girl
((((HUGS)))
Catherine